"Facebook is the downfall of players and pimps"

As I sit at my lovely desk in the College of Liberal Arts for eight hours a day, I am given plenty of time to "Facebook stalk." My sister likes to refer to it as me being a creeper. Because I am an expert creeper, I feel as though I am entitled to outline a few guidelines that all Facebook users should follow- in my opinion at least. If you disagree with any of the following suggestions or would like to add to the list... please do so in the comment section under the post.

Guidelines for the use of Facebook:
1. Spell check your statuses and posts, especially if you are in the process of trying to make another person look stupid.
2. Use correct grammar. If you are old enough to have a Facebook and know how to use a computer, you should be old enough to know how to speak properly. I know that everyone did not have Kay Whaley to teach them, but if it does not sound right to you, more than likely it's not.
3. Speak in English. Eufaula High School, or any other accredited institution, does not teach ebonics. If you are posting something on Facebook, you intend for other people to read it. I for one do not have time to interpret your incorrect and incredibly distorted use of the English vocabulary.
4. If you are arguing with someone, do not do it over Facebook statuses. Frankly, no one cares. The only purpose that serves is to make other people sit around and discuss how idiotic you appear. It's called Facebook Messanger or a cell phone... some of you should try it.
5. "It's complicated" should not be a relationship status. If it is to the point that you have to put "it's complicated" on a public website, you are not in a functional relationship.
6. Do not put engaged or married unless you are really engaged or married. Now, I have two friends that did this, and I encouraged it... shame on me. It causes way too much unnecessary drama. I promise you that no one on my friends list needs anymore drama.
7. On that note, please do not put that you are married or engaged to your best friend- especially if you are both girls. Unless you live in New Hampshire, Iowa, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, or DC, it is not legal; therefore, we all know you are really not married.
8. Do not poke someone, it is just plain creepy. It is also not flirtatious.
9. Do not attempt to partake in multiple relationships and try to juggle them all while using Facebook. As one of my brilliant friends once said, "Facebook is the downfall of players and pimps." That is a very true statement.
10. If you have a crush on someone or are in a relationship with someone, please do not comment on every picture or post that involves them. This habit is annoying and makes you look like a stalker.
11. Along with that idea, if you are in a relationship, do not "friend" every person that your significant other friends or chats with... also very stalkerish.
12. If someone denies your friend request, do not continually attempt to friend them. You should probably get the idea the first time, they do not want to be your friend. If this does occur, you should not always take it personally, specifically if the person that denies your friend request is my sister, and you are an adult. Shelby has established a new rule- no adults on her Facebook, and I say whatever works best for her.
13. Absolutely DO NOT create a fake facebook and try to friend people who would not be friends with your under normal circumstances...that borderlines on physco.
14. Be aware of the pictures involving yourself that are floating around Facebook. The absolute demise of some people can be credited to their Facebook pictures. Even if some pictures are only online for a few minutes, I guarantee you someone saw them.
15. Never leave your house wearing an outfit that you would not want to appear in a picture on Facebook. If you are going to be with a group of friends, most likely pictures will be taken and someone will upload them. Even if you untag them, people can still find them.
16. Friends do not let friends wear ridiculous outfits to the club. These pictures will also surface on Facebook, bringing disgrace to this person and their entire family- that is the extreme level of terrible that some of the outfits fall under.
17. If your Facebook contains material so grotesque and disturbing that you have to make the majority of your profile private, please delete your Facebook... that within itself proves that you do not need one.
18. Keep all information about potential infectious diseases that you might have acquired off of Facebook. Your status is not an appropriate place to talk about going to the clinic or the rumors that you heard going around about yourself. Although these things may happen, and although they may be true, do not put it on blast on Facebook.
19. Try to minimize the use of bad language. There are a lot of younger children and adults online these days, you don't want to offend someone's little sister or grandma because you feel the need to throw out the "f" word.
20. Overall, use discretion when choosing what to post online. If you do not feel that you can accurately or appropriately use discretion, enlist the help of your friends. Friends do not let friends Facebook and be stupid.