A New Path

Wow, I don't even know where to begin. Three weeks ago, I embarked on my law school journey. In just a few short hours, it will be over. It didn't last long, but it did leave a lasting impact. My short time in law school and the circumstances surrounding it provided life lessons that I will carry with me forever. I know some people may discount my choice and simply believe that I am a quitter or that I can't do it. If you hold those thoughts, please read on. I hope that you will be able to understand my reasoning, if not... frankly, I don't care.

I spent a large portion of my childhood believing that the one career path meant for me was law. Maybe it was because I was the granddaughter and daughter of a lawyer, maybe it was because I was working in the law office when I was in fifth grade. Whatever the reason, I long dreamed of the days I would walk the halls of Jones School of Law, becoming a third generation Jones student. On August 9, 2010, those dreams became reality.

During my senior year, I went back and forth when deciding whether to attend law school. One day, I wanted to be a great family and criminal attorney. The next day, I wanted to do work with my major- Communication. And the day after that, I wanted to teach high school or college English. I know, those are three very different career paths. Each of them had potential benefits and potential downfalls. Ultimately, on one cold day in February, I decided to attend law school. The days and weeks to come all focused on my upcoming graduation and transition into law school.

I found the perfect apartment in Montgomery. I bought furniture. In July, I moved into my beautiful, new apartment- away from my happy place, Auburn. I thought the next three years of my life were now set out before me. Again, I was wrong. During orientation week, my gut told me I had not made the right decision. I thought, heck, I was here now... I might as well try it.

Try it is exactly what I did. For two weeks, I attended classes, labored long hours over casebooks, and listened to never-ending lectures. I always thought I would love every minute of law school. Quite the opposite was true- I hated every minute of law school. It all felt meaningless to me. I became numb to everything around me. I realized my heart was not in it.

Somehow, I have managed to remain sane during the past eight years. In situations where I could have easily folded, I stood strong. Deep down, I know, law school would be the straw that broke the camel's back. So, you can chop up my decision to me not being strong enough, and on that account, you would probably be right.

I want to wake up everyday and go to a job that I love for the most part. I want to know I have options. I know that committing myself to complete three years of law school would only drive me to the crazy house and produce a degree that I may never use. I have decided to save myself the heartache and my Mama the money. I won't be completing law school.

I can honestly say that I have the most amazing family and friends. As I have pondered the situation over the past week, they have been supportive and loving. My biggest fear is disappointing the ones I love the most. I can make my decision today with the peace of mind in knowing that each of them loves me as much today as they did yesterday, and they only have my best interests at heart.

Mama, Vicki, Shelby, B.B., B.B. Daddy, Grandma, Jerrel, Jamie, Heather, Ms. Janna, Chris, Laura, Sarah, Mimi, Clair, Maria, Christy, Blayne, Justin, Logan, Ashley, and all of my other wonderful friends- today, you have reminded me of the greatest earthly gift God has given me, each of your friendship and love. You have listened to me freak out, cry, debate, discuss, and eventually peacefully make my decision. When I didn't think I was strong enough to make such a monumental choice, it was some of you that gave me the strength.

Please pray for me as I begin the new path in my life... where it may lead, I have no idea... but I am thankful to know that I have each of you on my side and to know it's in God's hands.

"In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song..."

Changed for the Good

"May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back, May the sun shine warm upon your face, The rain fall softly upon your fields, Until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand."

- Irish Blessing

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

"One more day, one more time, one more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied, but then again, I know what it would do, leave me wishing still for more one more day with you."

- One More Day, Diamond Rio

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."- Dr. Seuss

"Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin, I feel you come back again, And it's like you haven't been gone a moment from my side, Like the tears were never cried, Like the hands of time are holding you and me, And with all my heart I'm sure we're closer than we ever were."

- I Believe, Diamond Rio

"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints in our hearts and we are never ever the same."- Flavia Weedn

It's hard to find words that are adequate to celebrate the life of someone who changed my life in so many ways. My relationship with Tylor taught me the true meaning of love. His actions showed selflessness and showed me how a girl should truly be treated. God bless the men that have come after Tylor, because they have big shoes to fill. I am blessed to know that I was the girl meant for Tylor, and I hold his love in my heart everyday. Three years may have passed since Tylor's death, but it seems like yesterday. Today, let us not mourn for the life taken far too young, but let us all celebrate the time we had with Tylor and remember his wonderful smile and big hugs!

Tylor Scott Gibson

August 8, 1987- August 25, 2007

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for the good..."

The Heartbreak It Brings

The more time I have to sit around and think, the more I realize the heartache caused by the month of August. For some reason, it feels like everything bad that happens in Eufaula, happens in August. I use to love the month of August- it meant my birthday and starting school! The last time I looked forward to August was in 2002.

When I started my freshman year at Eufaula High School, I never imagined how different my life would be that same time the next year. As most of you know, I lost my dad on August 26th of that year. Who would have thought, that in the prime of his life, he would have been taken away? Not me. I can still picture him as he and Mama drove Laura and me to Wildcats practice that Monday night. They dropped us off, and I said I love you. That was the last time I saw my Daddy. The days following his death seem like a blur. What I do remember, is the outpouring of love and support my family received from our community. The line that filed through the Fellowship Hall of First Baptist Church at my dad's visitation proved he made an impact in not just my life but in the lives of so many people that he met across the years.

"Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am a life that was changed. Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am so glad that you gave. One by one they came, far as the eye could see. Each life somehow touched by your generosity. Little things that you had done, sacrifices that you had made. They were unnoticed on this Earth, in heaven now proclaimed."

It's hard to believe that was almost eight years ago. Wow, the time has flown. Since then, I have graduated high school, graduated college, started law school, and sadly buried someone else I love. On August 28, 2007, we buried my boyfriend, my love Tylor. This was five years to the day we buried my Dad. It took me a long time to come to terms with Tylor's death. I lived with the reality that Tylor was in Troy to see me; however, I eventually grasped the idea that God has a plan for each person- when God wants you home, it's on his terms.

"And I'll praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands, for You are who You are, no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, you hold in your hand, you've never left my side, and though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm."

Having my heart broken once was devastating, having it broken twice was unthinkable. I found a strength that I did not know I possessed in the wake of my loses. God never gives a person more than they can handle. Sometimes, I seriously questioned if he had given me too much. The month of August brings anew all of the old memories, a painful past.

"When we've been here ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun. We've no less days to sing God's praise than when we first begun."

On two very hot August days, five years apart, I watched two men that forever changed my life be laid to rest. Today, I was reminded that another great man lost his life in August- August 16, 1982 to be exact. I can honestly say, although I never knew him, I would not be here if it were not for him- my Mama's dad, Granddaddy Jack. I carry all three of them in my heart everyday; afterall, it was him after whom I was named. It gives me peace of sorts to know that I have an army of guardian angels watching over me everyday. Regardless of the amount of time that passes, I do not think one August will ever come and go without breaking my heart. I make it my goal to celebrate the lives of these great men, but I always wonder how different life could have been.

"It ain't fair, you died too young. Like a story that had just begun, the death tore all the pages away. God knows how I miss you, all the hell that I've been through. Just knowing no one could take your place, I wonder who you'd be today."

It's Been Too Long

Wow, it's been way too long since my last blog. Life has changed a lot since July 30th, so I will give you a run down on everything in my life. I am officially a resident of Montgomery, Alabama. I have had a lot of requests for pictures of my new apartment, and I will post a picture blog of my apartment sometime next week- I have just a few minor details left for it to be perfect! I start law school classes tomorrow, so I don't know how often I will get the opportunity to blog, but the following are a few things I realized since the beginning of the month:

1. As much as we all hope and pray, August comes around every year, and inevitably, something bad happens.

2. I would willing cancel my birthday if we could miss this month.

3. The older you get, the last spectacular birthdays become. Sad, but all too true.

4. I am blessed to have the most wonderful group of friends and family. Not many people can say that at the age of 22, their elementary school best friends are still their best friends. I can. Not only that, I have found some more pretty awesome friends since that time.

5. Law school will be manageable. It will take a lot of hard work and dedication, but I believe I am perfectly capable. After all, my Daddy graduated!

6. I am glad I love to read, write, and research, if not, I would be screwed.

7. As I hugged Jamie during our last visit before he returned to North Carolina, I did not want to let go. Letting go meant he was really leaving, it meant he is really going to Afghanistan all too soon.

8. Not everyone that is given a badge and the charge to protect and serve the people will bring honor to their office. Some individuals who should be working for the greater good of a community will ultimately fail at the task. In my hometown, this failure abounds.

9. My least favorite part of the month is yet to come. This year, I will not mourn the loss of two great men, but I will celebrate their lives. My life would not be the same had each of them not had a monumental impact on me. Everyday, I carry their love in my heart.

10. I am kind of a big kid now. I know that I do not pay my own bills yet, but I am more on my own now than ever. I love it!

I hope everyone has had a fantastic weekend! Love yall!