From Heartbreak to Healing

Everyday, everywhere millions of people experience some type of heartbreak.  It could be as simple as making a bad grade in school.  It could be as complex as losing a loved one.  With every heartbreak comes a new set of possibly life-changing circumstances.

In my life, I have experienced heartbreak in many forms on many separate occasions.  For a long time, I looked for comfort in worldly activities.   For nine years, I experienced reoccurring heartbreak.  The death of my dad forever changed my young life.  I held numerous positions in school organizations and community activities that gave me ample opportunity to be a positive leader and great Christian influence.  I severely neglected the opportunities I was given.

I believed that the deck of cards life dealt me simply was not fair, and I could do basically whatever I wanted to.  That mentality did not bring joy and happiness.  That mentality brought pain and sorrow.  Instead of being a positive influence on those around me during high school, I displayed a mediocre attitude.  While I did not necessarily encourage others to partake in negative, sinful activities, I did not witness or lead by faith.

When I left for college, I was given a new territory for witnessing.  Once again, God threw me a curveball.  At the beginning of my sophomore year at Auburn, I lost my boyfriend, my best friend.  I dealt with the pain and guilt of Tylor’s death for a long time.  In fact, until very recently, I do not think I properly grieved.  I avoided it, seeking a refuge in all of my school activities and worldly activities.

Over the course of the past nine years, I have continuously been told that I was strong.  I did stand strong, but it was not strong on the rock of my faith.  I stood strong by dealing with my issues in my own way.  My method of dealing with issues often caused confrontations between those that I love the most and myself.  My method of dealing with issues (avoidance) caused me to be incapable of maintaining a functional dating relationship.

I came to the realization that without some major change, I did not know what direction to take in life.  A very wise friend reminded me that nothing on this earth would be able to feel the emptiness I felt in my heart, that void could be filled with the love of Jesus alone.  That friend had faith in me.  More importantly, I trusted him, because his unwavering faith is evident in his everyday life.

For the past nine years, I have struggled to hang onto my sanity during the month of August.  This year, I am ready to conquer August.  I am ready to face the heartbreak of my past with the promise of my future.  I am ready to make a significant change in my life.  I continue to work through my heartbreaks, but this time, I will face them with the everlasting love of God in my heart and with His strong arms wrapped around me.